When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there is no such thing as a denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Immediately we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated by a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private resolution, however when you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. If you happen to’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for not less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually relies on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see when you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. If you happen to spend a whole lot of time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which results in a whole lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You won’t even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting had been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I don’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra conscious method to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when fascinated by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and sensible, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t have to hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

If you happen to’re able to get sincere with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you’ve gotten strategies/suggestions for make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, significantly, if your folks really respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, you then would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s essential to work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober particular person round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a little bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. If you happen to’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam